Compassion for Myself on a Sucky Day

Today has been a weird day. My parents were in town Sunday and Monday. I chose not to see them, and I have felt pulled between doing what’s right for me by not seeing them and of course wanting to see them because they are my family. I did not see them in the end, and it’s sad that this is the best thing for me right now.

I am so funny some times. At several points in the day I did my old thing of wondering why I wasn’t feeling all perky. It took having to consciously connect my feelings to what was happening today so that I could be loving toward myself and not berate myself for feeling poorly.

At times in the past I can remember Andrea saying something to me about how well I let myself be truthful with myself rather than trying to pretend that all was well. She commented about how much less energy it takes to be truthful than to pretend. I guess I got to the point today where I felt okay, even kind of good, about just feeling understandably rotten. The compassion for myself felt good.